Admittedly, I’m a people watcher. Whether I’m watching people on holiday, watching people in my block of flats, I’m always intrigued as to others’ lives and personalities (NOT A STALKER). Being in the gym is no different. Although I’m 100% focused and in the zone when I train, my interactions with others or simply watching others in the gym just add to my intrigue. I suddenly came to realise recently that there really are different types of gym goers. So, just for laughs and simply to humour you, I’ve broken them down here for you. Apologies in advance, this is not to offend anyone, it is simply my observations of the different types of people you can encounter in the gym. (DISCLAIMER: NO STEREOTYPES INTENDED):
THE SLACKER: This type of gym goer is definitely someone you might call plain lazy. They never really push themselves, instead just coast through their workout. I do sometimes wonder when I see this particular type of person why they bother coming at all. They may even take more rest then they should. Clearly, everything they do is done half heartedly and in my opinion, weight-lifting should never be done half-heartedly.
THE PHONE ADDICT: SO ANNOYING. They are either messaging on their phone with every rest period they get, sometimes even when they are doing an exercise. I saw a man recently, on the phone for ages in the gym, speaking SO LOUD you could hear him over the booming music. Once, I saw a guy on the phone the WHOLE TIME he was training, not even using his headphones, his phone uncomfortably attached to his ear. Just allow yourself this time for yourself, surely you’re not able to multi-task this much?
THE WANNABE FITNESS MODEL: Usually these are your arrogant arsewipes that will take pictures of themselves at any opportunity. Girls, it will usually be the typical glute side pose stance. They will usually wear the nicest gym attire - mate it’s not a fashion show, you’re here to train. Guys, even more cringe, especially if you’re that type that takes his top off and asks someone to take a photo of him pumped-yep this really happened. OMG get me out of here.
THE ORGASMER: These are the types of people (sorry, but it’s usually guys), who want EVERYONE in the gym to know they are working SO HARD. Therefore, they will yell, pant loudly or grunt uncontrollably EVERYTIME they do an exercise. It really is most offputting to me, especially when I’m trying to hip thrust 150kg! Trust me, half these guys that behave like this, are not even lifting that heavy!
THE HOGGER: These are the selfish type of people that look at you with complete disdain when you ask to jump on their equipment in their rest. I NEVER understand people who don’t like sharing. If they’re resting they will just sit on the equipment and hog it for no apparent reason. They remain completely territorial. We are all here for the same reason, so just share!
THE HARDWORKER: In all honesty, I would put myself in this category. These are the people I admire the most in the gym. They go in, time their rest, are only there to train not socialise, get their head down, get it done and leave. Job done.
THE SMELLY ONE: On a few occasions, it has either been B.O, weed or slightly better, the incredibly overpowering aftershave. I feel like there is no middle ground with these sorts of people. 1. Always spray deodorant when you know you’re going to train, especially if it’s a hot day. 2. Why come training if you smoke weed and stink out the whole gym? Surely that defeats the purpose, no? 3. You guys especially who douse themselves in aftershave so much that it chokes me when I’m trying to breathe, you’re either paranoid or you just want everyone to know you’ve arrived.
THE SWEATY ONE: A few occasions I felt ill looking at these people. I know, you can’t help if you’re a sweaty person or not, but when you’re sweating so much that the drips are covering the treadmill, or you are wearing a grey top and you’re drenched, eww! I will avoid using your bench at all costs when I see the sweat lingering on it. Just be considerate, and wipe it down after use. PS I have always felt like this, even before COVID.
THE VAIN ONE: Equally annoying. This person stares at themselves in the mirror at any given opportunity. I have had experiences where they also stare at others, making it completely obvious. Staring in a way that you can only assume they are sizing up and comparing. In their rest period they may even turn up their T-shirt sleeve and flex to see how they are looking. Cringe. Yep. Seen too many times.
THE OVERTRAINER: This person’s body shape never changes, but they overtrain. They will mostly brag about how many sessions they’ve got in this week. Guys, it’s quality over quantity. And no, by coming everyday, your body shape is NOT guaranteed to change. You cannot out train a bad diet.
THE TERRIBLE SPOTTER: I’ve seen it time and time again. They will yell at their gym partner to get it up, then do it for them-grab the bar and claim they never assisted. Or worse, on a squat make it look more intimate than it should be. LOL.
THE ONE THAT REALLY NEEDS A PT: I’m not a dick, so will never intervene and give my opinion on someone’s form, even if it is my job (I’m talking about when I’m not working and when I’m training myself at a random gym). But, this person 100% needs a coach but is clearly too arrogant or too stingy to get one. The pullups I’ve seen at the gym are TERRIBLE (by some). I wouldn’t even call them reps. I saw one girl once trying to do cable kickbacks and every rep the whole thing came crashing down, but also she was bobbing her head up and down. Probably the worst I’ve ever seen.
THE SUPP TAKER: It’s usually a big, beefy guy that does this in between sets. I think the strangest thing I ever observed was a guy during his rest periods downing 1 tsp of honey at every given moment. Dude, just have a pre-workout meal.
THE GROUPIE: Usually, really young 15 year olds who have no idea what they are doing. Or, guys in their 30s or 40s who think this is social time, rather than training time. Not going to lie, does wind me up sometimes when they scream and shout at each other for 1 more rep. It can also feel quite intimidating. This week, one of the guys in the groupie after his bench press (not a PB) started screaming and slamming his chest like Tarzan in happiness. His yelling was way too loud.
THE PERVERT: That 1 guy that will remind you why women get put off going to the gym in the first place. Seriously man, this is not speed dating. Stop trying to chat people up in the gym and get on with your set. Just leave the woman alone and STOP STARING. There’s a difference between being friendly and hitting on someone.
THE FLAMINGO: The person (sorry, but again mostly guys) who NEVER does legs. Every time I see them in the gym they are either benching or using upper body machines. Furthermore, I usually have bigger calves than these guys. Just do your legs.
THE EGO LIFTER: A combination of ‘the one that really needs a PT’ and ‘the orgasmer’. Usually the form isn’t great, but they will put SO much on the bar just to turn heads. And yell in the process.
THE CARDIO BUNNY (USUALLY A FEMALE) I used to be this one…for too many years, before I realised that it was the weights that actually change your physique. Ladies, stop it. Get yourself a good coach who will tell you what to do, you’re only wasting your time. STEP AWAY FROM THE TREADMILL.
THE BLABBERER: The ones that talk more than they train. In fact, if they trained as much as they talked, they’d be the most swole guy ever. Very annoying if you are wanting to really focus and you have a time limit. This type of person thinks the gym is a social club. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more lovely than friendly people in a gym. I have built up so many nice relationships with others and don’t mind a quick chat here and there. But, please avoid distracting those that really just want to get their head down.
THE FILM CREW Not going to lie, I like filming my workouts, but sometimes you can go too far. I remember feeling so uncomfortable having to ask to use a piece of equipment, or worrying about bombing someone’s workout video because they were wanting to video EVERYTHING. Plus, their tripod nearly knocked me out.
THE ONE THAT WEARS JEANS…WTF?! Honestly. Just honestly. I saw it again today in the gym…full on jeans! The worst was matching flip flops. Guys, we aren’t on holiday. Also, how can you squat in those?!
So hopefully, this has brought you some humour to your weekend and I’m sure will make you browse the room the next time you train. So, what category do you fall into?
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